Family Birthstone Necklace Guide: Stones, Order and Chain Length
A family birthstone necklace for mom usually has one stone for each child, set in birth order. Some also add her partner, her own month, or a grandchild. Pick a chain length she already wears (18 inches is a safe choice), a chain color that matches her other jewelry, and check every birth month before you order.
We make the personalized baguette birthstone necklace, so these are the questions we see most often from people buying one as a gift. Most of the advice applies to any family necklace, wherever you buy it.
What a family birthstone necklace actually is
A family birthstone necklace is a single pendant or bar that holds several small stones. Each stone stands for one person, shown in the color of their birth month. Nobody needs to see names or dates. The person wearing it knows exactly who each stone is.
That quiet meaning is why it works so well as a gift for mom. It is personal without being loud. She can wear it every day with a sweater or a work shirt, and nobody else has to know it is a family tree.
The baguette style uses slim, rectangular stones set side by side in a row. It reads as clean and modern, and it grows well: one stone looks like a delicate bar, while five or six look like a small band of color.
Who to include: how many stones to choose
This is the first real decision, and it is worth a quick conversation with the rest of the family before you order. Our necklace takes 1 to 6 stones, which covers most families. Here are the common ways people count.
Just the children
This is the classic mother's necklace. One stone for each child, and nothing else. It is the safest choice if you are not sure what she would want, and it is the one most moms expect.
Children plus parents
Some families add mom's own birth month and her partner's month. The necklace then shows the whole household. This works well as an anniversary or Christmas gift from a partner.
Grandchildren
For a grandmother, you can choose her children or her grandchildren. If there are more than six grandchildren, a stone per branch of the family keeps it simple. Our collection of engraved and birthstone jewelry has other pieces if one necklace cannot hold everyone.
Someone who has passed
Many families include a baby lost in pregnancy, a parent who has died, or a much-loved pet. A stone for them sits in the row like any other. For a gift that is only about remembrance, a baby memorial suncatcher with a birth month charm is a gentler choice than jewelry.
Birthstone color chart for a family necklace
Birthstone lists differ a little from one jeweler to the next. June and October, for example, have more than one traditional stone. That is why it helps to check the exact color a shop uses before you pick a month. These are the colors used on our necklace.
| Birth month | Birthstone | Color on the necklace |
|---|---|---|
| January | Garnet | Red |
| February | Amethyst | Purple |
| March | Aquamarine | Aquamarine blue |
| April | Diamond | Clear |
| May | Emerald | Green |
| June | Alexandrite | Purple |
| July | Ruby | Red |
| August | Peridot | Green |
| September | Sapphire | Blue |
| October | Pink tourmaline | Pink |
| November | Citrine | Yellow |
| December | Blue topaz | Blue |
The stones are birthstone colors, chosen to match each month. They are a way to show a date in color, which is what matters on a family piece.
When two people share a month
Twins, or a sibling born in the same month as a parent, simply get two stones of the same color. Repeat the month in the order box. Two matching stones side by side often become the part of the necklace people ask about.
When the colors look similar
A few pairs are close: February and June are both purple, and July and January are both red. If two children would end up with near-matching stones, that is fine. Mom will still know which is which by where they sit in the row.
What order should the stones go in?
There is no rule, but there are three orders almost everyone uses.
- Oldest to youngest, left to right. The most common choice. It reads like a sentence and is easy to remember.
- Parents in the middle, children on either side. Good for a household necklace that includes mom and her partner.
- By color. Some people place the stones so the colors look balanced, for example keeping two blues apart.
Whatever you choose, write it down in the order box exactly as you want it on the necklace. On ours, you type the months in the Birthstone Months box in the order you want them, and that is the order they are set.
Chain length guide: where each length sits
Chain length changes how the necklace looks more than almost anything else. A bar with several stones looks best when it lies flat on skin, rather than getting lost under a collar. The lengths we offer all include a 1 inch extension chain, which gives a little room to adjust.
| Chain length | Where it sits | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| 16 inches | Base of the neck | Open necklines, a close fit, layering as the top piece |
| 18 inches | Just below the collarbone | Everyday wear; the safest gift choice |
| 20 inches | Top of the chest | Crew necks and T-shirts |
| 22 inches | Just below mid-chest | Wearing over high necklines or sweaters |
| 24 inches | Low on the chest | Layering as the longest piece |
How to guess her length without asking
Borrow a necklace she wears often and measure it flat, clasp end to clasp end. Choose the closest length. If you cannot do that, 18 inches is a common everyday length, and the extension chain gives a little extra room.
Gold, silver or rose gold tone?
The chain color should match what she already wears, not what you like best. Look at her rings, earrings and watch.
- Gold tone suits someone who wears warm, yellow metals, and it looks rich with red and green stones.
- Silver tone suits someone who wears white metals or mixes a lot of jewelry. Blue and clear stones look crisp against it.
- Rose gold tone is soft and a little romantic. It pairs well with pink, purple and clear stones.
If she wears a mix, silver tone is the easiest to layer. If she is building a matching set, the personalized birthstone name ring or the personalized heart birthstone bracelet can be chosen in the same tone so everything goes together.
Ordering a birthstone necklace for Christmas
A family necklace is a popular Christmas gift for mom, and because each one is made to order, it helps to plan a little. Here is the order of steps we suggest.
- Collect the birth months. Text a sibling or partner to confirm them. This is where most mistakes happen.
- Decide who is included and the order. Write the list down.
- Choose the chain length and color. Use the tables above.
- Check the delivery times in the Shipping tab on the product page before you order, and leave some spare time before the holidays.
- Read the order back once. Personalized pieces are final sale, so a last check of the months and chain length is worth the minute it takes.
To make it part of Christmas morning, tuck the necklace into a personalized Christmas stocking with her name, a second gift she can hang up every year.
Other gifts for the same mom
If she already owns a family necklace, other pieces carry the same idea. A personalized two birthstone ring works for a mom of two or for a couple. A photo projection necklace with an open circle pendant holds a favorite family picture instead of stones. For the house rather than her neck, a personalized birthstone suncatcher with forget-me-not flowers throws the same birth month colors across a sunny window, and you can see more in our suncatcher and crystal gifts collection.
Frequently asked questions
What birthstones go on a mother's necklace?
Most mother's necklaces hold one birthstone for each of her children. Some families also add mom's own month, her partner's month, grandchildren, or someone who has passed away. There is no fixed rule. Choose the people she thinks of as her family, and check each birth month with a sibling or partner before ordering.
What order should birthstones go in on a family necklace?
The most common order is oldest to youngest, reading left to right. Some families put the parents in the middle with the children on either side, and others arrange the stones so the colors look balanced. Whatever order you pick, type the months in that exact order when you personalize the necklace.
What is the best chain length for a birthstone necklace?
18 inches is a safe, common choice. It sits just below the collarbone, so the stones show with most necklines. Choose 16 inches for a closer fit at the base of the neck, or 20 to 24 inches to wear it over sweaters or layered with other chains. Measuring a necklace she already wears is the surest guide.
What if two people in the family share a birth month?
Just repeat the month. Twins, or a child born in the same month as a parent, get two stones of the same color placed side by side. Enter the month twice in the order you want. Mom will still know which stone is which by its position in the row.
Can I return a personalized birthstone necklace?
Personalized pieces are made to order for one person, so they are final sale. That is why it is worth checking the birth months, the order of the stones and the chain length before you buy. Delivery times and the damage policy are listed in the Shipping and Returns tabs on the product page.
Choosing the one she will wear every day
A good family necklace comes down to three decisions: the right people, in the right order, on a chain length she already likes. Get those right and she will wear it for years.
When you are ready, start with the baguette birthstone necklace with 1 to 6 stones, from $33.18. You can choose gold, silver or rose gold tone and a 16 to 24 inch chain, then type the months in order. To compare it with rings, bracelets and photo jewelry, browse the full Engraved Treasures jewelry collection.